The dreaded first day back to work is just around the corner and some days I’m so sad about it and others I’m a little excited. It comes in waves and sometimes it’s hard to tell which side is winning. I keep reminding myself of how excited Amelia is when she goes to nursery for her settling in sessions, I think about all the fun she will have and foods she will get to try, friends she makes and things she will learn.
Then I don’t feel too bad about it, on other days I just cry at the thought of not spending every minute with her, not going to baby groups and meeting up with our mummy friends. If I’m totally honest with myself though I think I sort of looking am forward to it; for three main reasons.
I know I’m meant to say something profound next like how I long for adult interaction and to use my brain for more than calculating milk to nap ratio each day but all that grown up stuff hasn’t really occurred to me yet. I think my brain is still blissfully unaware that it’s going to have to get it’s shit together very soon and be a functioning adult who contributes to the working society again.
So, you can probably tell that my wanting to go to work has nothing to do with being grown up, being busy, thinking about work stuff, it’s not even about the money since almost all of that will be going straight to the nursery.
Nope, it’s not about those things at all, it’s about:
Jewellery – Anyone who knows me will know I am an absolute magpie, I love love love jewellery so much so that I think I have more of it than clothes these days. It’s all sentimental, pieces that my husband has bought me or something I bought on a special trip or something I have had and grown my collection of for years. It’s all pretty delicate too which doesn’t bode well with a grabby pully baby and so most of it has been resigned to the jewellery box since she was a few weeks old. And you know, I miss it. I miss the necklace my husband bought me that I wore everyday, I miss my Pandora bracelet that was made up of charms bought for me by my friends and family. I miss the little things that made me, me.
When Amelia is in nursery and I am in the safety of the train, I will be able to wear my jewellery again. For a few hours each day whilst at work I can go back to dressing and feeling how I used to. Without fear of things being snapped or broken.
Nappy changing – This might be a weird one but since Amelia learnt to move nappy changes have become more and more difficult. In fact sometimes they’re down right disastrous. She won’t lie still long enough for you to clean and put a fresh nappy on her, instead choosing to smear her whole body in her nappy in an attempt to roll over and crawl away. It’s exhausting, it’s messy and it’s someone else’s job now between 8am-6pm.
It might sound a little over the top and it probably is because some days she’s a dream and can be easy distracted with toys and singing and other days there is nothing that will stop her and on those days, I am very much looking forward to days in the office, without a nappy in sight.
A reset – This is probably the most important reason, during my time off I spent a lot of time at home, playing, feeding and caring for Amelia but there have also been hours spent watching TV whilst she has been asleep. These hours have mostly been spent snacking and as a result I’ve developed some terrible food habits. I’ve not lost any of the weight I expected to lose whilst at home and all that crap food just makes you feel bleugh!
Going to back to work is chance for me to hit the reset button on my eating habits. I won’t have time for breakfast in the mornings so it’ll have to be something I can eat on the train. I will only have 30 minutes for lunch which isn’t enough time to go to the shops or to a café so I’ll have to take my own lunches to work. I also can’t justify the cost of buying lunch every day anymore now that we have the nursery bill so that’s another incentive to take my own food. I also won’t have hours each day sat around watching the baby monitor whilst watching trash TV. There won’t be those daily opportunities to snack and I might actually start to make some headway into the umpteen pounds I want to lose this lifetime.
So there you have it, my three pretty unusual reasons for why I’m a teeny tiny bit excited for my first day back to work. It’ll be upon me in a matter of days, better start thinking about what jewellery I want to wear…
What were your reasons for wanting to go back to work?
Rachel xx
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