Here we are again, this time taking a look back at life with a new born. There is absolutely nothing in this world that can prepare you for taking your little human home and being entirely responsible for their survival and wellbeing.
No amount of reading, courses, friends with babies, none of it matters when you’re in the thick of it and feeling like you might actually die from tiredness.
When I think back to those first few weeks they are filled with feelings of warm fuzziness, new born smells, pure joy at holding that little baby in my arms and I am so lucky that Amelia was a very well behaved new born but there are still things that I would like to do better next time:
- Breast feeding – I am proud of my breast feeding journey to an extent. I’m proud that although I never got the hang of feeding Amelia properly I continued to express for 4 months so that I could feed her breast milk from a bottle. This was bloody hard, exhausting and time consuming but it was worth it and if I had to do the same again then I would without a moment’s hesitation. Given the chance though I want to master it, I want to feel the closeness of being able to feed my baby myself, I want to feel the empowerment of being confident enough to feed the baby in public. I want to be able to say that I succeeded in something that got the better of me the first time.
- Eating before 3pm – Food is literally the last thing on your mind when you have a new born that demands your constant attention but it’s also not healthy for you to go all day barely having enough time for a bite of toast. This is especially important when your breast feeding as you need the food to help with the milk supply and I found it so difficult making time to eat. It felt like every time I even thought about going to the kitchen Amelia would wake up and want feeding.
- Baby wearing – It’s only been as she had gotten older (and heavier) that I’ve really regretted not doing this more. When she was a new born I couldn’t wear the carrier because I was so sore and swollen and by the time I would have been able to wear it I had sort of forgotten all about it. It’s only been in the last couple of months that I’ve really thought about how lovely it would be to carry her, to have her close to me. I would love to try one of those wrap slings next time around, rather than the big bulky backpack style contraptions.
- Spend more time in bed – this might sound like a weird one but looking back I was so eager to feel ‘normal’ whatever the hell ‘normal’ is meant to feel like that I pushed myself too hard in the first few weeks. I wanted to go out, I wanted to socialise when really I should have been lying in bed recovering from surgery and snuggling my new born.
Those new born weeks are surreal, when you’re in them it feels like it will never end but then you look back you think it went so fast and you wish you could do it all over again just to have those first cuddles and sleepy moments together.
What would you do differently? Or maybe you’ve had a second and you’ve already changed something?
Rachel xx
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