But Sometimes…

May 12, 2017

I knew that the transition to being a mum would be a shock with a lot to learn and a new routine top adjust to, but sometimes I can’t remember how I ever lived my life before Amelia arrived.

I knew that having a baby would affect my body and how it looked, that it might never be the same again, but sometimes I hate my reflection and wish I was one of those women who “bounce back”.

I know I love her with all my heart, but sometimes I wish there was a day off and that caring for her wasn’t a 24/7 job.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but sometimes I wonder how women do it for a long time, it was the hardest thing about being a new mum and no one ever tells you that beforehand.

I know that my maternity leave will soon be over and I will dread taking her to nursery, but sometimes I look forward to just being me.

I know that the days go by so quickly and I must cherish every moment, but sometimes it feels like bedtime will never come.

I know that when she sleeps I should do the housework, but sometimes I just want to watch trash TV and eat biscuits.

I know that I wish I had the commitment to diet, I want to lose this baby weight and more, but sometimes I want to eat everything in existence.

I knew that my home would never be spotless again, but sometimes I genuinely don’t know how a tiny person creates so much mess.

I know that our home is filled with love, laughter and toys, but sometimes I feel bad for not taking her outside to enjoy the fresh air.

I know that babies need their rest, but sometimes there are so many things to be done that it feels like we’re never at home.

I know that the last two are contradictory, but sometimes as a mother you are caught between a rock and a hard place with no one to tell you which way is correct.

I knew that weaning would be messy, but sometimes I just can’t cope with the smush.

I knew maternity leave would be spent on my own with my baby, but sometimes it is so incredibly lonely and I long for adult interaction during the day.

I knew that simple tasks like food shopping would be harder with a baby in tow, but sometimes it feels like we live in the supermarket.

I know how much I appreciate my mama squad, but sometimes I wish we could just pop round for a cuppa and a chat.

I know that I am more than just a mum, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like there is anything else in the world I would rather do than be with my family.

I knew that it would be hard for my husband to leave us every morning to go to work, but sometimes I just wish we had more than weekends together.

I know that Amelia is going to grow up into an incredible, beautiful, strong girl, but sometimes I want her to be my tiny baby forever…

Rachel xx


  • Reply
    May 19, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    I absolutely love this. It’s so honest and you don’t see many posts like this. There’s so many cringe social media posts about loving your baby but it’s refreshing to see something that reflects not only that, but the lonely and somewhat overwhelming side of motherhood as well. I’ve found the whole thing to be a complete conflict of emotions from the beginning, mostly praying they’ll sleep so you can get things done, then just sitting on the sofa missing them wishing you could have a cuddle! Madness. Really nicely written. X

    • Rachel Ebuehi
      Rachel Ebuehi
      May 20, 2017 at 12:36 am

      Hi Sophie, thank you for writing such a lovely comment. I always try to be honest, I think it’s the only way. I’m definitely the mum sat on her phone looking at pictures of my baby when she’s sleeping haha I just miss her so much when she’s not in the room. Motherhood is incredibly in so many emotional and confusing ways isn’t it. Thanks for visiting the site, really appreciate it xx

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